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Disco Elysium has one normal ending: The debriefing where you return from the Sea Fortress, capping off your investigation into the hanged man.

This page isn't about that. It's about all the fun newspaper reports you can get if you screw up. Can you collect them all?

MORE DEAD COPS[]

Requirement
Try to arrest the Hardie boys (with Kim) and don't back out.

Sad news the district of Martinaise where the body of a police officer was (as the bodies of two police officers are) found floating in the canal. It is believed the officer(s) were pursuing a murder investigation but got caught in the dockworkers strike and were gunned down under unclear circumstances.

"Such needless loss of life is truly tragic," a local union leader Evrart Claire commented and added that although the event is truly horrid, we can expect similar incidents to follow if right-wing vigilantes are allowed to run around uncontrolled and try to wiggle their way into well-organized neighbourhoods.

COP FINALLY KILLS HIMSELF[]

Requirement
Finger on the Eject Button internalized and succumbed to. (This content has been cut from the game.)

An officer of the RCM ended his own life yesterday with a single shot. His death came as something of a surprise to those who knew him, as he'd threatened to kill himself on many previous occasions.

"The people who talk about killing themselves all the time aren't usually the ones that do it," said Officer Judit Minot, friend and colleague of the deceased.

"The job gets to people in different ways," said Officer Mack Torson, another colleague. "Now they're going to start talking about improving counselling services for officers of the RCM again. But, to be honest, I don't think counselling would have helped him."

DERANGED COP ELECTROCUTES SELF[]

Requirement
Try to fix the waterlock yourself

Citizens left in shock as a police officer, reportedly from the 41st precinct, electrocuted himself with a high-grade industrial current at the Martinaise Canal water lock.

"I don't know what the hell he was thinking," a technician sent to repair the water lock commented."

DISGRACED COP SLEEPS IN TRASH[]

Requirement
Run out of money

A deranged "law official" was found sleeping in a trash container behind the Whirling-in-Rags, a hostel-cafeteria in Martinaise.

Garte, manager of the establishment, had this to say: "He did ask for a free room. And I said no. I don't make the rules of the game, I just play my part."

DISTRICT IN MOURNING: BURNED-OUT COP SHOOTS CHILD[]

Requirement
Shoot Cunoesse when trying to get the body down.

Yesterday in the District of Martinaise, a deranged "law official" from the paramilitary outfit that calls itself the Revachol Citizens Militia shot and killed ten-year-old Cunoesse Vittulainen. Locals are in shock.

"He was out of control," said Lawrence Garte, local hostel and cafeteria manager. "I hope they put him away for good."

DERANGED COP KILLS HIMSELF[]

Requirement
Shoot yourself in the head to make a point to Titus Hardie.

Citizens in shock as a deranged law official, reportedly from the 41st precinct, shot himself in the head last night in the middle of a crowded cafeteria in downtown Martinaise. The exact details of the incident have not been revealed, but first-hand witnesses claim that the officer was *making a point*.

"Can't say I'm surprised," Lawrence Garte, manager of the Whirling-in-Rags cafeteria, where the incident took place, commented. "He was extremely unstable and had threatened to kill himself before."

11 DEAD IN A BLOODY SHOOT-OUT IN MARTINAISE[]

Requirement
Fail to dodge the first shot while out of health and healing items during the Tribunal

Streets run red with blood in the Martinaise district of Revachol where several people belonging to the Debardeurs' Union of Martinaise and two members of the Revachol Citizens Militia are gunned down by three unidentified assailants. Witnesses report heavy machine gun fire and note that the incident was over very quickly. The heavily armoured attackers vanished immediately after the bloodbath.

"Savage barbarians," Garte a manager of the cafeteria, *Whirling-in-Rags*, commented. "They had no respect for the architecture nor the well-being of bystanders. Bullets were flying in the mess-hall. It's a wonder that no one else was killed."

COP SELF-IMMOLATES IN THE STREETS OF MARTINAISE[]

Requirement
Drink the Spirit Bomb. (This content has been cut from the game.)

A detective lieutenant of the RCM went up in flames yesterday after setting a bottle of 197.4 proof alcohol on fire and taking a drink.

"He moved so quickly and decisively, there was nothing I could do to stop him," said Lieutenant Kitsuragi, who was present at the scene. "I must admit, however, that I was not entirely surprised by this turn of events. He seemed to be going through a lot."

"That's just like him, to take his leave in a fit of theatricality while the rest of us have to clean up the mess," Satellite-Officer Vicquemare commented, referring to the case that the deceased was working on at the time of his death. That case remains unsolved.

COP SUFFERS FINAL HEART ATTACK[]

Requirement
Allow health to run out.

A detective lieutenant of the RCM passed away yesterday. His death, though abrupt, did not come as a surprise to those who knew him. "He was the heaviest drinker I'd ever met," Captain Ptolemy Pryce, the deceased's superior officer, commented. "That ain't easy on the ticker."

"He loved his liquor, sure," said Detective Chester McLaine, friend and colleague. "But I think before he ever had a heart attack, his heart was broken."

According to an official statement given by the RCM, the officer was on the brink of solving a murder case.

COP GIVES UP THE DETECTIVE GENRE FOR SOCIAL REALISM[]

Requirement
Allow Morale to run out.

Another police officer resigned from the RCM following a nervous breakdown. He now lives under a bridge, drinking and occasionally throwing excrement at passers-by, shouting, "I never loved that woman!"

When asked to comment, former colleagues objected to the theory that his psychological disintegration was precipitated by his wife leaving him. "It's because The Furrows lost that match," said Captain Ptolemy Pryce, once the man's superior officer. "It's because he couldn't get a big gun from acquisitions, and, anyway, police work really burns you out after a while," Satellite-Officer Jean Vicquemare, the deranged former cop's partner, commented. Sergeant Mack Torson, another former colleague, did not propose any theories, merely saying, "Whatever happened to him wasn't about birds. He got f****d, that's all."

COP DIES UNDER THE BOARDWALK[]

Requirement
Try to confront Ruby, the Instigator, alone.

An officer of the RCM hot on the track of a suspect died yesterday of causes yet to be determined.

"I told him not to go after the suspect without me," said Lieutenant Kim Kitsuragi, the deceased's partner on the case. "But it seems that he wanted to play the hero." "It's just like him to run straight into the lion's den, fly unzipped and arms flailing," said Satellite-Officer Jean Vicquemare, friend and colleague of the officer. "If ever I saw a man with a death wish..."

COP DIES IN HEROIC ATTEMPT TO APPREHEND SUSPECT IN MURDER INVESTIGATION[]

Requirement
Die while confronting Ruby, the Instigator.

The RCM is in mourning after a detective lieutenant lost his life while attempting to arrest a suspect in an ongoing murder investigation in Martinaise. Lieutenant Kim Kitsuragi, the deceased's partner on the case who survived the encounter, said the suspect used a weapon the likes of which he had never seen before to temporarily incapacitate both of them. "I don't think she meant to kill him -- she apologized when she saw what had happened..." he added. "It's just like, to go out like a real cop in the end," said Captain Ptolemy Pryce, the deceased's superior officer."

HERO COP SUFFERS FINAL HEART ATTACK[]

Requirement
Die on the Sea Fortress. (This content has been cut from the game.)

A detective lieutenant of the RCM passed away yesterday. His death, though abrupt, did not come as a surprise to those who knew him. "He was the heaviest drinker I'd ever met," Captain Ptolemy Pryce, the deceased's superior officer, commented. "That ain't easy on the ticker."

"He loved his liquor, sure," said Detective Chester McLaine, friend and colleague. "But I think before he ever had a heart attack, his heart was broken."

According to an official statement given by the RCM, the officer was in the middle of extracting a confession from a suspect in a murder investigation at the time. The suspect is now in custody."

COP EXCHANGES THE UNIFORM FOR THE LIFE OF AN ISLAND HERMIT[]

Requirement
Run out of Morale at the Sea Fortress (This content has been cut from the game.)

Another police officer resigned from the RCM following a nervous breakdown. He now lives on a deserted island, living off raw fish and shouting, "I never loved that woman!"

When asked to comment, former colleagues objected to the theory that his psychological disintegration was precipitated by his wife leaving him. "It's because The Furrows lost that match," said Captain Ptolemy Pryce, once the man's superior officer. "It's because he couldn't get a big gun from acquisitions, and, anyway, police work really burns you out after a while," Satellite-Officer Jean Vicquemare, the deranged former cop's partner, commented. Sergeant Mack Torson, another former colleague, did not propose any theories, merely saying, "It's all such a shame. He was just getting back on his feet." The officer reportedly broke down while extracting a confession from a suspect in a murder investigation. The suspect is now in police custody."

POLICE OFFICER, RESPONSIBLE FOR SUICIDE OF SUSPECT, RENOUNCES THE RCM[]

Requirement
Tell Kim you're done being a cop after Ruby commits suicide

Today, officer Harrier du Bois, formerly a lieutenant of the Citizen's Milition of Revachol, gives a candid interview -- in which he renounces the Militia, his years of service -- most of which he 'doesn't remember' -- and his own actions on the force. "I'm no longer a cop. I wish I never was. No one should be," says du Bois, who has fallen on hard times after resigning. "Fuck the RCM. Fuck duty," he adds. Continues on page 4...

WEEKS LATER, NO ANSWERS ABOUT EXTRACTED COP[]

Requirement
Contact the Moralintern as part of the Moralist political vision quest, tell them about the hole-in-the-world in the church, and agree to come with them.

The condition and whereabouts of an RCM lieutenant extracted by a Coalition acrostatic two weeks ago remain unknown. The dramatric manoeuvre, witnessed by dozens near the north roundabout, has reportedly increased tensions between the citizens of Martinaise, the RCM, and Coalition authorities.

Early reports that the lieutenant was investigating entroponetic phenomena along the coast have not been confirmed.

According to an official statement given by the RCM, the lieutenant was in Martinaise as part of a murder investigation. A Coalition represenative declined repeated requests for comment.

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